satu tahun

satu tahun.

masih sama.
i'm not getting better.

gunting masih menjadi senjata
lengan kebas.
hirisan di lengan tak menutup luka di hati
yang sentiasa berdarah

bila aku nak berhenti hiris
why can't i be happy, Oh Lord?

And then I realized...

Aku dengar lagu kat youtube while waiting for my trial Adobe Lightroom download. tetibe i dont how, lagu Ed Sheeran keluar. lagu Perfect. Aku selalu dengar lagu tu tapi aku tak focus sangat but then, just now I watched the MV and dengar lyrics betul betul. It's so sweet. Then tiba tiba I burst into tears.. I realized how much I miss someone sing me a love song. I miss someone makes me feel loved.. I dont know when was the last time I felt that, but yea, I really miss that kinda moment. And I realized how sad my life is. I am sad. I dont know how to happy again.. I always listen to sad songs. and I'm so tired of it. But it's okay. I'll sing them to myself. :)

I found a love for me
Darling just dive right in
And follow my lead
Well I found a girl beautiful and sweet 
I never knew you were the someone waiting for me
'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love

Not knowing what it was
I will not give you up this time
But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own
And in your eyes you're holding mine

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath
But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight

Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know
She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home
I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets
To carry love, to carry children of our own
We are still kids, but we're so in love
Fighting against all odds
I know we'll be alright this time
Darling, just hold my hand
Be my girl, I'll be your man
I see my future in your eyes

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful
I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
I have faith in what I see
Now I know I have met an angel in person
And she looks perfect
I don't deserve this
You look perfect tonight