Deco Deco Dipan

So many ideas yet, so little space & money.

Lately ni, setiap kali aku kemas bilik, aku jadi serabut. Aku rasa rimas! Rimas gila babi. Bilik aku ni sebenarnya elok jadi stor je. Sebab size-nya memang sempit. ngam ngam untuk seketul tilam dan seketul robok. Tapi sebab aku sebenarnya suka bilik kecik dan compact dan murah (kedekut), aku tak kisah lah sangat. Tapi ni dah 9 bulan aku duduk. Barang aku makin bertambah. Buku aku dah tak ada space dan terpaksa letak di sebelah tilam di atas lantai. Baju usah dicakap. Aku rajin ke bundle. Sekali pegi bukan beli sehelai. Kalau pegi bundle rm1 kurang kurang 5 keping baju. Aku sekarang pakai robok zip tu. Tapi masalahnya sekarang, robok tu dah senget ke depan. Tunggu masa nak roboh je tu haa. Sakit pula hati aku tengokkan. Baju dan robok tu satu hal. Aku sekarang dah ada anak-anak. Anak-anak patung. Pulak tu, tilam aku spring dia dah mencucuk cucuk sanubari aku. Ugh. Semua benda tak kena.

Jadi, sekarang aku tengah cari cari idea untuk bilik aku ni. Aku nak cari bed frame pallet. yang bawah dia boleh susun buku-buku dan tape tape. macam gambar bawah ni.

Disebabkan bilik aku memang ngam ngam untuk single bed, so memang gini aja lah gayanya. Nais kan? Kalau dapat tinggi sikit atau pallet nya dua lapis pun nais. Sebab aku ni makin menambah buku bukan makin berkurang. 

Lepas tu hat yang almari pula aku nak cari almari kayu dah skang. Tobat aih nak pakai yang kain zip punya. Membazir duit aku. Kualiti tak sama macam masa aku zaman kolej dulu! Mesti pakai raw material murahan tapi jual harga sama sikit lebih kurang je. Hampeh betul. Macam gambar bawah ni kalau kurang lebar sikit dan mungkin tinggi dan warna putih lagi nais az fk! Ni aku rasa kat Lazada ada ni. Boleh lah aku usha nanti

Lepas tu aku nak buat shelves yang jenis melekat terus kat dinding. Satu shelves aku buat untuk letak barang solek/aksesori. Satu lagi mungkin di sisi katil aku nak buat untuk tempat letak laptop. Dan dinding kiri, aku nak buat few shelves untuk letak anak-anak patung kecik kecik. Sebab aku nak mula collect soft toys dan toys. Cantik kan gambar bawah ni??

Jadi sekarang perubahan pertama kena buat dalam bilik aku adalah beli katil dan gobok baru. Shelves ni aku dah tengok harga dekat Ikea. Kena pelan pelan. Apa apahal katil dengan gobok. Selesa sikit lah sekurang kurangnya. 

Masalah aku sekarang, mana nak cari bed frame yang macam aku nak tu? Anyone?

xoxo,

dipan

Naluri

Setiap Jumaat kami akan terima stock yang kami order pada hari Rabu. Jadi minggu ni aku yang terima stock sebab colleague lain semuanya cuti. Biasanya sehari sebelum stock sampai (Khamis) kami akan buat price tag. Minggu ni aku juga yang buat price tag sebab aku kerja di shift petang pada Khamis tu. 

Biasanya aku buat price tag ngam ngam. Jika kuantiti yang kami akan dapat 10, mak aku kan buat 10 price tag sahaja. Sebab malas nak tukar price tag roll yang agak melecehkan tu. Jadi aku jimat jimat lah sikit. 

Tapi semalam, aku tergerak hati nak buat lebih satu price tag untuk satu product ni. (Gambar di bawah). Kami dapat 6 tapi semalam aku sengaja lebihkan satu. Aku pun tak tau kenapa. Sengaja suka suka.

Tadi masa aku nak tampal harga, ditakdirkan, price tag untuk unit ke-6 koyak! Dan tetibe aku ternampak baki satu lagi price tag. Terus aku terfikirkan sesuatu.

Kadang-kadang Tuhan gerakkan naluri kita, hati kita ada sebabnya. Kadang-kadang kita tak nampak sebabnya. Tapi bila kita nampak sebabnya, Tuhan suruh kita belajar darinya. Nampak macam simple, tapi hari ni baru aku rasa terkesan dengan tindakan aku semalam atas izin Allah, dan situasi simple yang aku hadapi tadi. 


Aku harap setiap naluri yang Allah gerakkan lepas ni, ada hikmahnya. Dan semoga dari hikmah yang Allah beri tu, aku dapat pelajari sesuatu yang bermakna untuk aku praktikkan dalam hidup.


Nota: Benda simple az fuk. Bukan tunjuk deep. Cuma aku rasa nak share benda simple ni sebab kadang kadang benda simple ni lah kita selalu remehkan. 


xoxo,
dipan

New Family :)

Kenalkan,

Snorly - Gemuk dan tak suka berdiri.

Marillyn - Bulat dan suka senyum.

Yang ini dua ekor pakwe belikan dekat Uncle David. Kan ada viral cerita pasal ada orang booking 250 ekor (kalau tak silap). Sekali kena paitau. Kesian Uncle David. Pakwe kata, ramai yang datang membeli. Beratur orang nak membeli Pokemon dekat Uncle David. Semoga baik baik aja buat Uncle David. 

Trimas, sayang!

Travelog : Phuket 4 Days 3 Night

Hi semua! Apa khabar? Sihat? Dah makan nasi?

Okay, hari ni hakak nak kongsi pengalaman hakak pergi Phuket dengan budget yang super rendah! So, for those yang nak pergi bercuti luar dari Malaysia, boleh lah refer to Itinerary to Phuket ni dan Expensesnya sekali.

Before I went for the trip, I have made a simple itinerary as below.

Day 1
Flight : KUL (20:40) - HKT (21:05)

Arrived at Phuket Airport
Taxi to Rassada Place

Check in at Rassada Place
-- Having meal, have some rest.

Note:
1) Do not purchase cigarette at the airport. I don't know why, it was 120THB. It was 100THB at Phi Phi Island.

2) Ask your hotel/hostel whether they can arrange someone to pick you up or not. Because you will need to super bargain on the taxi fare. Do not make the decision on choosing taxi too fast cos you could actually get lower prices. If you want, you can ask every taxi booth over there. Since we arrived a bit late, there was no minibus/ airport shuttle bus. So, no choice, we need to take the taxi. I read somewhere, they said Meter Taxi on the right side of the airport could give you cheaper price. But thank God, we asked around. we save our 50thb. The taxi fare from Airport to Rassada Place was 600THB

3) Pick places to stay and MAKE SURE there are at least a mini mart or places to eat! We were starving on our first night! We could actually walk around 20 minutes to go to the nearest mini mart. However, it was raining heavily that night. So yeah.

4) Rassada Place only caused you around RM50 per night (500THB). The room was neat, clean, and far from noise. The staff was helpful. If you wished to stay here, please prepare your own food! 

Day 2
06.30: Check out.
Taxi to Rassada Pier

08:30: Ferry to Phi Phi Island (Tonsai Pier)

Check in at Phi Phi Chang Grand Resort
-- Having meal, sightseeing at the beach

21:00: Partay!

Note:
1) One more thing, MAKE SURE there are a lot of public transport around there. Rassada Place was out of nowhere but the plus point was, it's only 10 minutes to Rassada Pier. (That was why I booked this place. I'll never do that again. I swear). We need to stop by the taxi and we bargained the taxi driver from 500THB to 300THB to go to Rassada Pier
IT WAS ONLY 10 MINUTES AND YOU WANTED TO CHARGE ME 500THB. NOPE. But the taxi driver was nice tho.

2) We purchased ferry tickets thru www.phuketferry.com . It was quite cheap compared to if we purchase it at the pier. It was around 790THB per person (returned ticket). BUT, double check with your hotel/hostel if they can prepare returned ferry tickets to Phi Phi Island. Cos, the staff told us, if the prepared for us, it'll be only 750THB per person.

3) When we checked in our ferry ticket at the counter, the staff asked whether we have transport to go to our hotel tomorrow once we arrive at Phuket from Phi Phi. She looked at our booking, she told us, she could arrange minibus for us and it'll  be only 200THB per person. If we get the taxi it'll cost you around 600THB. So, we decide we just go with the minibus then. 

4) Again, MAKE SURE YOUR HOTEL ALWAYS HAVE THE ELECTRICITY. We checked in at Phi Phi Chang Grand Resort. IT WAS THE WORST. We checked in around 10.45am. The staff told us, the electricity will be fine around 11am. NOPE. The electricity was on at around 5pm. Thank God, the beach was amazing. You can go for boat trip, island hoping, snorkeling, diving and etc, but we prefer to spend time playing at the beach only.

5) Food, you don't need to worry. You need to look around each and every restaurant. You can get food around 100THB below per person. So, be patient! XD

6) Party was good. You can see 'bucket stall' everywhere! haha. Imported whiskey bucket will cost you around 600THB and above. However you can get local whiskey bucket for 400THB. But it depends as well. There was a lot of bars there. We chose to go to Reggae Bar as there were Muay Thai too! Large bottle of Chang Beer cost you around 180THB and small bottle is 100THB. And, the nicest thing was, the bucket. We ordered Sam Song buy 1 free 1 (local whiskey bucket) for 400THB. They mixed the whiskey with coke and redbull. After we finished our drinks, we went to Dojo Bar. There was a dance floor over there. We just ordered a large bottle of Chang Beer for 100THB and we got off. It was too crowded. I prefer places like Reggae Bar. You can enjoy the music while watching the Muay Thai.

7) Tips: Before you go out for party, pack up your stuff. So you don't need to rush up anything before you check out on the next day. I did that and it was one of the good tips I could share with you.

Day 3
07:30: Check out.

09:00: Ferry to Phuket
Minibus to Chalong

Check in at Phaitong Sotel Resort
-- Having meal, sightseeing etc

Note:
1)Nothing much on Day 3. It was more for relaxing time and Sightseeing.

2) If you wish to go to havoc places, you can go to Patong area. As for me, I've done partying. So, I booked a hotel at Chalong area. The main reason was, I wanted to go to Wat Chalong Temple and Big Buddha. but, we went to Wat Chalong. The Big Buddha was quite far. 

3) We rent out a scooter for 300THB one day. They provide you helmet but you need to fuel up the scooter first. We went to Central Festival (it is a shopping centre since we wanted to go to the money changer) and Old Phuket Town. MAKE SURE you bring your GPS. We asked around the local. The locals were friendly and helpful. From the Old Phuket Town, we went to Wat Chalong. The temple was amazingly beautiful! 

4) Around 8pm we went to Phuket Night Market. There were a lot of stuff you could find and as for me, I WANT FOOD. I wish I brought a lot of cash so that I could do some shopping too but, food come first, guys! Not to worry for those who're concern about halal food. There are few choices of halal food over there. 

Day 4
04:30: Check out

Taxi to the airport.

Flight : HKT (08:10) - KUL (11:40)

Note:
1) Ask the hotel staff to call for taxi if you need to check out early in the morning. Phaitong Sotel Resort is the best place ever! From the room to the service. I could give 5/5. The staff was very nice! Eventhou we checked out around 4.30am, there were breakfast for us too! I would highly recommanded for those who wish to stay around Chalong area to go to Phaitong Sotel Resort!


These are my full expenses throughout the trip (For 2 people)

Hotel - 2194THB (I pre-booked the hotel at www.booking.com)
Transportation - 2450THB
Food, Beverages & Cigs - 2028THB
Others - 870THB

Total - 7542THB

7542THB = 905.04MYR
So basically, 450 myr per person without shopping! 

Lastly, I would like to thank Skyscanner and Lipstiq.com for the flight tickets to Phuket! It was a memorable trip ever! 

Visit www.skyscanner.com.my for the best deal! <3 

STRESS!

Aku geram ni...........

Geram sangat-sangat. :(

Ada staff baru masuk outlet ni. Dia masuk dalam last month tengah tengah bulan macam tu. Hari kedua je dah tunjuk perangai. Aku tak kisah umur kau 41 tahun pun tapi tolong lah. Kau respek sikit orang boleh tak? Jangan ingat kau tua, aku muda kau boleh buat car kau . Kita kat sini ada cara kita bekerja. Tak faham, tanya. Jangan la buat buat pandai tapi bodoh! Cakap taknak dengar. Suruh baca product knowledge pun malas. Lepas tu salah bagi info kat customer. Lepas tu dia suka tanya benda random. Aku dah lah tak suka orang tanya random ni!

Benda simple! Lupa, suka delay delay kerja. Bila orang nak buat in store training, dia kata ni kat training pun nanti ada ajar. MEMANG LAH CELAKA. Tapi kau nak pergi training tu, Trainer akan tengok sejauh mana kau punya knowledge! Lepas tu orang tengah mengajer, ZONE OUT. Dah zone out lepas tu marah kita sebab laju sangat. Aku geram betul lah.

Aku tadi hampir meletup sebenarya tadi. Hari ni memang tak ada orang. First sale RM40. Lepas tu ada la 2 3 orang masuk keluar. lepas tu, patutnya turn aku. pastu dia dengan rasa tak bersalah terus pergi attend customer tu dan masukkan code dia. Aku fikir tak apa lah. Dia belum buka sale. Okay. Lepas tu browser masuk. turn aku. lepas tu ada mamat cina masuk. KAU TAHU DIA TAKNAK AMBIL SALE TU SEBAB SALE TU BAR! Masa sebelum proceed payment tu aku cakap dekat dia. pergi la buat payment. Dia geleng kepala dia cakap takpe, u pegi lah. BABI WEH. CUSTOMER DAH TUNGGU KOT TU! Aku cakap, pergi je. Dia geleng lagi. Memang anak haram betul aku cakap dia ni. Aku membentak la! Aku settlekan dulu customer tu. Lepas customer tu keluar terus aku cakap kat dia.

"You jangan macam ni tau. Kan kitorang da cakap banyak kali. Kita ada turning system. Depan customer you buat macam ni. Ikut lah turn"

Lepas tu dia nak menang. DIA NAK MENANG. 
"Oh tadi tu I ingat dia browser je so I nak kasi you sale"

KEPALA HOTAK DIA! 
"Kan dah cakap dah tak kira browser ke apa ke tu tetap turn kecuali kalau orang tu tanya direction"

pastu dia "oh sorry sorry"

CELAKA! Jatuh sial sale per ticket. Dah lah takde sale! Makin jatuh sale per ticket. UGHHH GERAM NYAAAAAAAAAAA.

Aku rasa selama aku kerja kat gnc ni, ni kali pertama aku rasa MALAS NAK DATANG KERJA. Sebab nak kena hadap dia ni. Otak kat kepala lutut agaknya.

Melukut di tepian tangga

Diam semua orang! Aku nak mengaduh nasib ni! Disebabkan aku dah tak ada tempat nak mengaduh nasib selain kat Tuhan dan blog. k.

Cerita dia, semalam aku balik pukul 6 petang macam biasa. Kononnya aku tak makan seharian kat tempat kerja sebab nak masak kat rumah. Sebelum tu aku ingat nak pegi tukar minyak hitam dan servis motor. Lama woi tak servis. sebulan lebih nak masuk dua bulan aku agak. 

Jadi balik tu dengan penuh semangat aku bawak motor, dah lah tak ada kereta kat atas jalan. Ya Tuhan, seronoknya! Aku pun riak lah sikit masa tengah bawak motor. kah. Sampai je area bengkel, rupanya bengkel tutup hari ni. aduh. Potiong! Aku pun terus pusing pergi Hero Market. Kan aku cakap tadi aku nak masak. 

Aku dah lama tak makan ikan. Jadi aku agak, elok juga kalau aku beli ikan. Apahal HERO ramai orang weh! Makcik makcik ni tak balik kampung ke? Terus aku putuskan untuk tidak membeli ikan. Aku beli chicken salami. Balik buat aglio olio pun okay jugak ni. 

Pung pang, pung pang. aku balik lah rumah. Masa aku nak buka tombol pintu pakai kunci....... DAMN! Kunci aku patah kat dalam. Shit!! Mana ada orang kat rumah! Kan semua orang rayaaaaaaaa!

Aku waksep Suraya dengan Kesi. Dorang suruh aku bertabah. Nasib lah Aqmal ada kat puchong je. tak jauh. kalau dia balik Perak? Tak ke menung as fuck secara berpanjangan? Aku pun untuk kesekian kalinya, duduk kat tangga tepi rumah tu. Melukut di tepian tangga lagi. Nasib lah wifi rumah boleh detect walaupun aku duduk kat tangga. Aku gulung tembakau, sambil sedut asap tembakau, sambil aku mengenang dosa-dosa lalu. Diselangi pula azan maghrib time tu. Weh, sendu weh! Air mata nak bergenang pun tak jadi. Dia macam sendu, sepi tapi lebih kepada "Nasib gua macam sayur siak". 

Tak lama lepas tu, Aqmal pun sampai. Pakai card tapi tak boleh. Nasib kat motor dia ada screw driver. sekejap je dah boleh dah buka pintu tu! Thank you aqmal! 

Aku balik, tukar baju terus angkut baju baju kotor dan bawak pergi dobi. niat di hati nak charge henpon. Cable pulak jahanam. ni dah 100% jahanam. tak detect langsung. aduh. terus aku amek powerbank, dan baju kotor. Sambil basuh baju aku fikir elok juga aku pergi beli tombol pintu. Nanti balik boleh lah aku tukar. 

Cable henpon rosak, aku beli baru. harga RM9. kali ni aku tanya budak tu, mana yang naik cepat. cipet tuari aku beli charge hp serupa tak charge! Lepas tu sementara tunggu baju basuh, aku round cari kedai hardware. SEMUA TUTUP. k. Aku pegi Azhaar Maju, makan nasi goreng ayam bilas dengan kopi o ais. lapar tapi nak marah. teruk tau rasa dia! 

Dah settle makan apa semua, aku pergi la ke dobi balik. Aku tukar dari mesin membasuh ke mesin mengering. RM6 - 90minit. KEPALA HOTAK LAH. tadi basuh dah 30minit. DUA JAM SIAK AKU BASUH BAJU. 

Basuh tangan pun tak sampai setengah jam aku agak. Lepas ni taknak basuh situ dah. Nasib wifi laju. Sempat aku tengok Variety Show Korean - Weekly Idol.

Semua benda tak kena lately ni. Geram pula rasa. Aku rasa aku kena bersenam lah. Eh, apa pula tak ada kene mengena? Ada lah! Kau orang apa tahu!

Gambar hiasan, tapi sebijik jadi macam ni! Dan pintu rumah aku pun macam ni.

Yang benar,
Dipan

The Morning After I killed Myself...

Source - Facebook page : The Artidote


trigger warning: suicide

"The morning after I killed myself, I woke up.

I made myself breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich. I squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. I scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the counter. I washed the dishes and folded the towels.                                    

The morning after I killed myself, I fell in love. Not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal. Not with the everyday jogger or the grocer who always left the avocados out of the bag. I fell in love with my mother and the way she sat on the floor of my room holding each rock from my collection in her palms until they grew dark with sweat. I fell in love with my father down at the river as he placed my note into a bottle and sent it into the current. With my brother who once believed in unicorns but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe I still existed.

The morning after I killed myself, I walked the dog. I watched the way her tail twitched when a bird flew by or how her pace quickened at the sight of a cat. I saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me so we could play catch but saw nothing but sky in my place. I stood by as strangers stroked her muzzle and she wilted beneath their touch like she did once for mine.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to the neighbors’ yard where I left my footprints in concrete as a two year old and examined how they were already fading. I picked a few daylilies and pulled a few weeds and watched the elderly woman through her window as she read the paper with the news of my death. I saw her husband spit tobacco into the kitchen sink and bring her her daily medication.

The morning after I killed myself, I watched the sun come up. Each orange tree opened like a hand and the kid down the street pointed out a single red cloud to his mother.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. I told her about the avocados and the stepping stones, the river and her parents. I told her about the sunsets and the dog and the beach.

The morning after I killed myself, I tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what I started."
—Meggie Royer 

Maaf.

Bila difikir-fikir balik, mungkin memang salahnya aku suami aku tinggalkan aku dulu. Walaupun bila aku ingat ingat balik, ini hanya terjadi di waktu ini. Betul lah apa orang kata. Sesuatu kejadi mengubah kita. 

Dan aku, aku berubah menjadi keras. Aku berubah menjadi benci akan itu dan ini. Aku mengajar cinta. Hakikatnya, aku membenci. Aku bencikan hidup aku, aku bencikan setiap yang berada di sekeliling aku. Sebenarnya bukan salahnya kau atau dia atau sesiapa. Apatah lagi Tuhan yang esa. Yang silapnya, aku dilahirkan--sial. Sial yang aku bikin sendiri.

Aku minta maaf, untuk keberapa ratus kali, aku kecewa dengan kekecewaan aku terhadap kau. Aku kecewa dengan diri aku yang sering kecewa dengan kau dan dia dan tuhan. Maka, balasan untuk aku pastinya duka. 

Terlalu jauh diri aku dengan Tuhan. Aku lupa untuk apa aku bernafas. Aku hidup hanya untuk bernafas. Aku tak tahu mana tujuan aku. Sebagi makhluk manusia. 

Aku minta maaf. Aku perlu cari cinta. Cinta aku dengan Tuhan. Aku perlu belajar untuk hidup kembali. 

Aku minta maaf.

..

Aku tak pasti nak letak tajuk apa kepada post ini.

terlalu berselirat dalam diri aku. aku tak tahu nak luah macam mana. pen dan kertas tak membantu. papan kekunci juga tak membantu untuk aku luah kan semua selirat ni.

again,

aku luahkan dengan air mata. aku terfikir. sampai bila? aku pilih untuk bahagia. tapi mana pergi bahagia tu? mana pergi bahagia yang aku pilih? mana pergi jalan cerita penuh kebahagian yang aku tuliskan?

tak habis-habis dengan air mata. aku bosan. tak. orang lain tak ada masalah apa apa. cuma aku.

aku pernah belajar untuk cinta diri aku sendiri. tapi aku dah lupa setiap yang aku belajar tu. dan aku tak tahu macam mana nak mula balik.

atau, tuhan sudah bencikan aku?

Allah, beri aku kekuatan. beri aku bahagia. beri aku cinta.


terasa hina. aku lupa Dia bila aku nampak cahaya. aku ingat Dia bila cahaya itu hilang.
hipokrit. sampah.

.

I'm in love with depression.