Different

It is not easy to be me. 

I'm talking about how one should respect another despite their education background/family background/history and etc. sebenarnya i lost my self confidence long time ago. 

I am different. my family is different. my education background is different. my history is different. terlalu banyak kekurangan aku. terlalu banyak yang terjadi dalam hidup aku menyebabkan aku lain dari yang lain. 

Bila aku tengok orang lain. yang surfacenya mungkin lebih kurang dengan aku, but at least they have something that is normal. maybe their education is good. or the least i can say, their body is still beautiful. but me? 

Bila aku fall in love dengan seseorang, dan aku tengok betapa normalnya kehidupan dia, aku jadi sedih. because, i might be pushed away because of all the differences i had. i learnt how to not put hope on him. i am ready to be disappoint. it makes me sad. really. i'm not trying to put the blame on God. there must be something good for me afterlife kan? i hope so.